On this day 8 years ago at 5:02 p.m. my life was changed forever. It was the day I became a mommy for the first time. I remember everything about that day. Being late to the hospital because I stopped and got breakfast at burger King because I knew once I got there I wasn't allowed to eat. My mom and dad were there waiting for me in the hallway. And yes I still remember the pain, I don't know who the wise ass was that told me " you forget all about it after it's over", I have yet to forget that pain. I remember my mom and dad being in the room looking at me like I was some kind of side show freak, watching everything I was doing. the break down (and I do mean breakdown) I had in the bathroom right before I had her, you see I just wasn't sure how they were going to get this baby out but I was not pushing her out and they were not going to get cut me so they had better figure out a way to get her out and I mean now!!! Or the few choice words I yelled at my nurse who by the way had known me since I was like 5, they really weren't very nice and I did apologize after it was all over. I'll never forget the look in my mom's eyes during my breakdown, like she would have done anything for me to make the pain go away if she only could have. At the time I didn't understand the love a mother has for a child, but I soon would. Little did I know it would only be a few minutes after the breakdown. When I was having Emmy they kept coming in and having me move all over the place. Switching the way I was laying, lay this way, no try this, no how about this, it was kinda getting on my nerves. But what I didn't know, what they weren't telling me was every time I had a contraction her heart rate was going to almost a flat line. I didn't learn this until after it was all over with, Didn't want to upset you they said. Really I thought?? So any way I was having a hard time for a minute getting her out then her head finally came and all of a sudden I heard DON'T PUSH, DON'T MOVE, DON'T DO ANYTHING, and I was like what's going on what do you mean don't push, I can't help it I have to, you people have been telling me for 20 minutes to push as hard as I can and now you tell me to stop. I can't stop, It's out of my control. But the sound of their voices made me think I had better listen. I was told at that time why I was having a hard time and she was having a hard time. The cord was wrapped around her neck it was in the way and literally causing her not to get any oxygen, and the more I pushed the tighter it was getting.
Here I was trying to give my child life and at the same time causing her to slip away. I was so scared, I remember shaking, the nurse was trying to get the doctor in there but he didn't think I would complete for a long time so he went to get something to eat. there was no time to wait so the next thing I heard was we have to cut the cord the way it is, and they did. They told me to push as hard as I could and when I did they pulled her the rest of the way out. i remember seeing this little gray limp body with a cord still around her neck being taken across the room, I didn't even get to see her. I sat there for a few minutes as all these people were surrounding my baby and working on her and I realized she wasn't crying, it's at this time I also realized my mom had stayed in the room while I had her. She had asked if she could and I had told her no because I thought she would get in the way. once again, I will always remember my mom standing there quiet as can be tears running down her face and when I looked at her all she said was I told you I wouldn't get in the way, and then she told me that was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. After a little while I finally heard the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, MY BABY. She was OK, she was breathing, crying and was going to be just fine. They brought her over to me, and ya know what, everyone in the room got to hold her before I did. I had to remind them that I would like to see her too. but it's all right they were just as excited to see this new wonder as I was.
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